Over the weekend, my daughter, TQ, mentioned rather casually that a boy in her 5 yr old pre-K class "showed us his penis." Then she informed us that while she didn't actually GET to see it because her friends were in the way, she did, in fact, WANT to see it.
Trying as hard as I can to be relaxed and not freak her out (or laugh, because despite the "serious” subject matter, it was kind of funny), I asked where this happened. "In the yellow tube on the playground" she replied. Basically, I grilled her about the whole thing to make sure it wasn't an exaggeration or tall tale and it seems that it isn't.
The boy, a classmate, did in fact show his thang to three little girls in the yellow tube. He told another girl to go get them because he wanted to "show them something funny." In they went and there it was, except TQ got gypped because she couldn't completely see IT. Nonetheless, she seemed to think the whole thing was rather comical.
Hubz, on the other hand, was pretty ticked and I had to nudge him and tell him to chill. Why? Because while I'm not thrilled to think about pre-K peepshows happening at an excellent private school to which we pay a small fortune each month, I'm glad that she told me at all and I praised her for it. If I started ranting and raving or making a big stink, I'm fairly certain that she would be savvy enough to not mention this sort of thing next time, should it ever occur again. I'd like to keep those lines of communication open for as long as possible.
After she told us the whole story, I explained to her, as casually as I could, that anything inside your underwear is private and that nobody should be showing it and nobody should be looking at it or touching it. My daughter has seen her baby brother naked so she knows what little boys look like and they ARE small children. Curiosity is natural and normal. To that end, I really don't want to start making body parts naughty or taboo and I don't want to be responsible for my child having a bunch of weird hang-ups as an adult.
I’m still not sure how to address the whole thing with the school. I know that telling the teacher will create a big ordeal and spur on an “investigation" that will serve no purpose but to make them feel like they've properly addressed “the situation.” And if I mention it to the boy's mother, it might not be well received and then my daughter could be labeled a liar or troublemaker. It just seems like a lose-lose situation and I don't like either option.
I've told my daughter what she needs to know about situations like that and I believe that she clearly understands. Beyond that I’m in a holding pattern while I think it over. TQ's teacher had a death in the family and she'll be out until next Monday so I won't be able to speak with her until then anyway.
If your child came home and told you something like this, what would you do and why?
(I don't even want to THINK about what kind of google searches this post is going attract...)
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