Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Skank Dolls Redux

I've been so busy this week doing blog graphics and a total blog re-design for Fidget that I haven't had time to write all that much. Of course, I'm still doing the blog-composing thing in the shower and before I fall asleep (Shut up. I know you do it, too) and I have all sorts of thoughts that don't involve sexual predators or baby clothes blues but just no time to put them together thus far.

That said, I've decided to dig through the archives to some of my grossly underappreciated posts from those early days when I got none to very few comments. Remember those days? Or was that just me that wrote to imaginary readers, fancying myself a scribe for the anonymous masses?

Anyway, I dug up a short but sweet post about something that seems to chafe a lot of mommy ass. (That's right. I called you a MOMMY) Actually, I've also read a few blog posts from Dads on this topic so I guess it chafes some daddy ass, too.

Someone gave my daughter a "My Scene" doll for her birthday. They're kind of like the Barbie version of Bratz dolls, which I detest. I'm just not interested in those weird, giant-eyed, hoochie mama dolls as toys for my five yr old daughter. Maybe when she's thirty. Or when George Bush learns to pronounce "nuclear."

Seriously...I don't know if I'm just twisted or what but I'm telling you, this doll looks like a hooker or possibly a drag queen. So naturally, my daughter finds her far more interesting than any of her eight million Barbies. Her platform stripper shoes are also of keen interest. I don't know... I'm fairly open-minded but I think "Madison" just might have to have a garbage disposal accident or something.

And forget all that unsexy diaper business... Baby Bratz Dolls now come with their Very Own Thong. Phew! I was wondering where I was going to get a tiny doll-sized thong. Thank God someone is considering parents for a change.
Now wasn't that worth recycling? It just doesn't make sense to let perfectly good posts go to waste. There are kids in China that have never even HAD a good post about hoochie dolls and their thong-wearing siblings. Please. Think of the children.

And now, according to CitySlickerMom , it's "Hump Day Link Share/Link Where?" and never one to pass on the fun, I've decided to play along so in addition to all the fine blogs in my bookmarks, Blogroll and Bloglines, here are a few I've been digging.

Check 'em:
Supafine, Life O' Pie and Hipster Mom.


  • So disturbing! I was actually just thinking that all we need in this world is hoochy-mama dolls. Great post, totally worth a second glance!

    By Blogger Bridgermama, at 3/29/2006 02:08:00 AM  

  • I tmakes me glad that I have all boys!!! I worled at Target for a bit and was apalled at the hoocie momma clothing in the toddler's section. If I have a girl I am going to be getting a lifetime supply of burkas lol

    By Blogger Awesome Mom, at 3/29/2006 02:40:00 AM  

  • Those dolls are TERRIBLE! They DO look like hookers :)

    I am lucky my daughter doesn't like dolls, she likes Pokemon LOL!

    By Anonymous rhonda, at 3/29/2006 05:42:00 AM  

  • HAHA. Those are craziness. My MIL bought my daughter the bratz dvd since my lovely huz said she liked the commercial. HELLO??

    Anyway, I'm glad you recycled. I'm thinking of doing it as well. I have plenty of no comment-no read posts.

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 3/29/2006 08:19:00 AM  

  • I totally think of blog posts through out the day then *poof* they are gone when I go to sit down and write!

    What I am dying to know is, did that doll have an accident?? lol!

    By Anonymous chelle, at 3/29/2006 10:13:00 AM  

  • I hate these big-headed dolls. I know it makes me sound like a crusty old woman, but back in MY day we had NICE dolls.

    Seriously, though: can't you just see the VH1 retrospective in the year 2026, with little clips of Apple Martin and Milo Langdon holding up these toys and asking, rhetorically, "What were kids THINKING in '06?"

    By Blogger Arabella, at 3/29/2006 10:22:00 AM  

  • My house is littered with hoochie 9 y/o also likes to take the boy Bratz and dress them up in high heals and girl clothes, so I have the hoocie crew and their drag queen friends....its lovely here at my house....

    By Blogger Emily, at 3/29/2006 10:23:00 AM  

  • Those dolls look mean. Beware! In the middle of the night, she might go pull out Barbie's hair. Maybe she'd like a ride on a recycle truck if she hasn't already succumbed to the garbage disposal.

    By Blogger something blue, at 3/29/2006 10:38:00 AM  

  • Iz, you have to stop posting these great links! Gah! It takes me long enough to read your bloglines already. :-)

    I HATE BRATZ dolls with a passion! Not only do they look like prostitutes but "bratz"? It's like hey, be obnoxious! Grr.

    By Blogger MrsFortune, at 3/29/2006 11:58:00 AM  

  • Baby bratz thongs! That's just sick. Have you noticed the little girl shoes that have the platform soles on them? Not only are they ugly, but you're just asking for a sprained ankle if you put those on your daughter. I want to keep my little girl "little" for as long as I can. In this society that's getting harder and harder.

    By Blogger Marcie, at 3/29/2006 12:03:00 PM  

  • Thanks for the linky love!

    By Blogger kfk, at 3/29/2006 12:23:00 PM  

  • Mary P. ( posted one about a My Scene doll last month too ("Barbie Rides The Skank Wagon") and suggested writing in to Mattel to tell them what we think about them. Not a bad idea, since not one reader over there thought they were a good idea either.

    And thanks for linking me, Izz!

    By Blogger kittenpie, at 3/29/2006 01:12:00 PM  

  • Hate those bratz and bratz-like dolls! So glad I'm not alone. My daughter just turned five and I threatened my family with bodily harm if they bought her any of those.

    Have you ever seen the whole baby thong diaper "ad" on SNL? Maybe that's where Bratz got the idea. Wherever it came from, it's a stupid one. Maybe mom's should unite and write these toy makers to let them know our daughters aspire to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, researchers, and SAHM's, not lap dancing ho's.

    By Anonymous J, at 3/29/2006 01:21:00 PM  

  • What bothers me most about those hoochie dolls...parents cave in and buy them for their kids!

    And year by year they just keep getting worse...

    By Blogger creative-Type Dad (Tony), at 3/29/2006 01:29:00 PM  

  • What's next, Bratz with their very own vibrators and anal beads? Someone STOP THE INSANITY!

    By Blogger Mom101, at 3/29/2006 01:31:00 PM  

  • Thanks for the link recommendations, I have visited them all. I got a son, so don't have much to say about the dolls, except I did buy one for a little girl's birthday who has a mother that acts like a hoochie and she the mother loved it......

    By Anonymous Ed Bacchus, at 3/29/2006 01:33:00 PM  

  • We were at Target today and my daughter (she's 3) asked if she could have one of those Bratz dolls. I quickly turned her attention to something else.

    By Blogger Chag, at 3/29/2006 01:55:00 PM  

  • Sweet lord, a baby thong.

    Honestly, what happened to baby dolls that look like babies? Who wants to care for a doll-version of a 13-year-old? [or, regarding Barbie, a doll-version of a 25-year-old plastic surgery addict?]

    Anyway. Thanks for the linkie-doo!

    By Anonymous supa, at 3/29/2006 02:17:00 PM  

  • Ugh, those dolls all need to be burned. I don't consider myself conservative by any means, but I can't stand those dolls. I think they are one of the few toys I would ever forbid in my house.

    By Blogger Christina, at 3/29/2006 02:38:00 PM  

  • I confess I bought my younger son some boy Bratz dolls, it's hard to find dolls for boys to play with that aren't GI Joe. At least they are fully clothed.

    The thong thing? Ewwww. Like the SNL commercial-"Huggies thongs! Sure they leak, but they look great!"

    Thanks for the link to CitySlicker Mama-did you check out the Human Clock? Liked them both.

    By Blogger Elizabeth, at 3/29/2006 03:22:00 PM  

  • Thank you so much for da "shout out" on my blog. I really enjoy yours too, and am already getting some very nice visitors from your linkage. I had Hipster D add a link to Moonshine on my cool moms' list as a thanks for all the hospitality.

    By Blogger hipstermom, at 3/29/2006 04:22:00 PM  

  • There are BOY Bratz dolls?!

    I am with Melissa R on this post making me glad I have boys. I would lost my mind having to try to raise a self respecting girl in todays world. It would seem there is a conspiracy against it.

    Good job on the recycling.

    By Anonymous krista, at 3/29/2006 05:37:00 PM  

  • Hey! Thanks for the shout out, come visit anytime!

    By Blogger Cityslicker Mom, at 3/29/2006 05:58:00 PM  

  • Emily will give you my whole speech about why those dolls are "Inappropriate" - I have similar feeligns about stores like Limited Too. I don't need my 7 year old to get sexualized images from her dolls - I mean dear Lord - Fishnet stockings?

    I also belive that all Bratz dolls would totally shank you for crack

    By Blogger Dawn, at 3/29/2006 09:38:00 PM  

  • Is it pronounced with a long A or short? I always want to pronounce it like slang for bratwurst. I mean, I used to live in the Bratwurst Capital of the World. So I've got this hang-up about brats. I mean bratwurst.

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 3/29/2006 11:23:00 PM  

  • Those Bratz dolls are just plain WRONG. And I cringe when I see the commercial for the "secret date" ones -- where that 15 or 16 year old girl gets dressed up in a short shirt, tight skirt, and hoochie mama boots to go out on a "secret date." Turns the stomach.

    I totally do the think-of-post-ideas thing at night and in the shower. Which would explain why my posts lately have been so lame, since I've been barely alive/awake during wakeup and night-night times lately. And see? I'm regressing language-wise.

    By Anonymous Nancy, at 3/30/2006 10:10:00 AM  

  • @ Nancy

    Regarding that commercial...As a Dad, you're describing my WORST nightmare!

    By Blogger creative-Type Dad (Tony), at 3/30/2006 04:52:00 PM  

  • Iz-you don't mind if I answer two of these questions do you?

    Krista-yes there are Boy Bratz and like I said at least they are fully clothed, although they do have highlighted hair and tiny bracelets and chain necklaces.

    Jess- it's like "rats" with a B.

    By Blogger Elizabeth, at 4/01/2006 03:37:00 PM  

  • Thongs? That's sick.
    Mary, mom to many

    By Blogger owlhaven, at 4/02/2006 01:37:00 PM  

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