Another Vain Diva Lost to Motherhood

Can we talk? Because I'd like to confess that I used to be a vain woman. Vain, vain, vain! A prime example of early vain divahood...at summer camp, age 13, my BFF and I wore Maybelline waterproof liquid eyeliner and mascara so we'd look hot (hott!) even after being in and out of the pool all day. All through junior high and high school I threw tantrums and broke countless hairbrushes because "my hair isn't going right." (Going right? Is that even English? WTF?) Can you imagine? I was expected to go to school with imperfect hair....the horror!

So you get the picture, right? Fast forward two decades and two kids and boy have things changed. I don't want to say that I've let myself go but seriously, do I actually have time to be like that anymore? Hell no! I'd love to say that becoming a stereotypical ponytailed, no-makeup soccer mom (actually, make that gymnastics mom) has been a freeing experience, that I am happy to no longer be a prisoner within the iron maiden of beauty, but I can't.

In my office, which happens to be in the center of the house, there is a mirrored closet that you have to pass to get through the room. I see myself in that thing 6,000 times a day and I swear sometimes I wonder who that woman is. She looks tired and man...wasn't she wearing that t-shirt yesterday? What's up with that hair? And her skin? I think that woman in the mirror needs a spa day...and fast. The saddest part is that while I long for the days when I had the time to be vain, a part of me kind of doesn't care that much anymore what other people think. I actually go to the grocery store with no makeup (okay...tinted lip gloss maybe) and flip flops and dirty hair and I'm okay with it (as long as I don't run into anyone I knew before kids...lol) I mean I drive a MINIVAN, for crissakes. I've pretty much thrown in the towel on so many levels. But I know that soon enough, both kids will be in school and I'll have more time to ponder what it means to be beautiful (or feeling not so beautiful, in my case) and decide exactly how much maintenance I'm willing to do for it.

One thing I've never been is a poodle; my term for someone who spends an inordinate amount of time being groomed at nail, hair & tanning salons, getting facials, and having dates with personal trainers. I should clarify that I don't dislike poodles and to some degree, I envy them; for they have the time and resources to pursue such an intensive regimen of pampering and grooming and well...I don't. I'll probably never be be a poodle but maybe I'll get to a place where my vanity actually helps me begin to recognize that strange woman in the mirror again.

As a sidebar, yesterday in one of my legendary Target shopping binges, I bought a L'oreal micro-dermabrasion kit. I used it last night for the first time and can I tell you...that is the best $17 I've spent on my non-diva self in a while. My face feels as smooth as my baby's butt and it really does look brighter, smoother and I daresay...just a bit tighter. And this is just the first day! Check it out if you feel like your skin is looking blah. I'm giving it my stamp of approval.

This is an old essay from Salon.com, written by a guy, celebrating the hotness of real moms. It's a classic. Check it out.