Sunday, February 19, 2006

Anthropomorphism Sucks...

Anthropomorphism: The act of ascribing human motivation and characteristics to inanimate objects, animals or natural phenomena.

If anyone out there is in the movie business or anything close to it, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT, tell your studio bosses and producer friends that movies with animals that act like people and speak in full sentences, complete with naughty double-entendres are STUPID, PLAYED OUT, and rarely ever suitable for small children. Period.

It was all funny and charming when Robin Williams played the wisecracking genie (yes, I know genies are not animals but close enough) in Aladdin but I'm telling you — that ship has sailed. Muster up a collective teapsoon of creativity and find a NEW gimmick! Furthermore, why do these stupid characters have to yell every two and a half seconds? They all sound like they're channeling Sam Kinison, undoubtedly the most annoying semi-celebrity in comedic history.

In case you're wondering where all this is coming from...I took my daughter to see "Curious George" today and it was beautifully animated and a very charming movie for little kids (thank you, Ron Howard). This means little or no screaming and no violence (yes, even when it's made to look funny, kicking the crap out of someone is STILL violence) and a general theme of good values that anyone with children (that isn't a total loser) would like their kids to be exposed to.

I wish I could say the same about the TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES of lame trailers for retarded movies that I would NEVER take a 5 year old to see, let alone a 2, 3 or 4 year old, the primary demographic in the theater. I had a pounding headache from sensory overload and my daughter, who is very sheltered, was exposed to everything but freaking pornography in those 20 minutes. Never again will I get to a movie early and sit through that crap when I have my kids with me. NEVER.

And in other parenting news... if you somehow missed the story of the camera-stealing family of assholes, check it here.

5 Comments:

  • The big word is impressive. And thanks for the warning. It's stuff like that that you never really think about (or at least as an impacting factor) until you have kids. Now, I even question Ms. Piggy hi-ya-ing poor kermit. She was attacking him with her love today and Q freaked out...

    We were thinking of taking her as she LOVES the books - and she's pretty quiet and well-behaved. We'll make sure to arrive LATE.

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 2/19/2006 12:20:00 AM  

  • I can't wait for that. I already hate those movies so I can't imagine I'll like them more in a few years. Ug. And am I the only person on the planet that didn't like Finding Nemo? I think so.

    By Blogger Stefanie, at 2/19/2006 01:30:00 AM  

  • I'm a big believer in DVD's these days and reading reviews of parents, not the "professionals" as they call them here in Hollywood. The sad thing is, they gear these movies for adults, then kids.

    By Blogger creative-Type Dad (Tony), at 2/19/2006 02:43:00 PM  

  • I am so with you on this one. We should have known better but we took a kid to see "Eight Below" - and while I did cry like a baby I was actually dumb struck by all the anthropomorphism going on there. Disney sucks.

    PS I tagged you for your 80s alter ego!

    By Blogger MrsFortune, at 2/20/2006 01:27:00 PM  

  • I was wondering about Eight Below. Okay, that will be a 'wait for the DVD" one...lol

    By Blogger IzzyMom, at 2/22/2006 06:09:00 PM  

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