Anthropomorphism Sucks...

Anthropomorphism: The act of ascribing human motivation and characteristics to inanimate objects, animals or natural phenomena.

If anyone out there is in the movie business or anything close to it, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT, tell your studio bosses and producer friends that movies with animals that act like people and speak in full sentences, complete with naughty double-entendres are STUPID, PLAYED OUT, and rarely ever suitable for small children. Period.

It was all funny and charming when Robin Williams played the wisecracking genie (yes, I know genies are not animals but close enough) in Aladdin but I'm telling you — that ship has sailed. Muster up a collective teapsoon of creativity and find a NEW gimmick! Furthermore, why do these stupid characters have to yell every two and a half seconds? They all sound like they're channeling Sam Kinison, undoubtedly the most annoying semi-celebrity in comedic history.

In case you're wondering where all this is coming from...I took my daughter to see "Curious George" today and it was beautifully animated and a very charming movie for little kids (thank you, Ron Howard). This means little or no screaming and no violence (yes, even when it's made to look funny, kicking the crap out of someone is STILL violence) and a general theme of good values that anyone with children (that isn't a total loser) would like their kids to be exposed to.

I wish I could say the same about the TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES of lame trailers for retarded movies that I would NEVER take a 5 year old to see, let alone a 2, 3 or 4 year old, the primary demographic in the theater. I had a pounding headache from sensory overload and my daughter, who is very sheltered, was exposed to everything but freaking pornography in those 20 minutes. Never again will I get to a movie early and sit through that crap when I have my kids with me. NEVER.

And in other parenting news... if you somehow missed the story of the camera-stealing family of assholes, check it here.