Sunday, February 12, 2006

Brokeback Crazy Mofo Camera Shopping Day

I went to see Brokeback Mountain yesterday ALL BY MYSELF. (not that I wanted to go all alone but it was nice to be somewhere without kids that doesn't involve a shopping cart and things that will melt if I don't go straight home) For those of you who haven't seen it, Brokeback Mountain is a heartbreakingly sad love story. I very much enjoyed it but I really don't see what the controversy was all about. I can turn on my TV on a Sunday afternoon and see depictions of violence that will turn my stomach but a story that involves love between two people of the same gender is a problem? We really are a screwed up society. (but you knew that already, right?) There was some sex between the main characters but I wouldn't say it was graphic. I've never witnessed actual gay man sex so I don't know if it would be considered an accurate portrayal but I'm guessing it was, particularly the "manliness" of it and some of the awkwardness, too. In many ways, the scenes exhibited a certain tenderness, which made them kind of hot in a weird way. You should know that "tender" is a word I rarely use except maybe to describe baby back ribs or steamed carrots but in this case, it is warranted

There wasn't any extreme nudity but a little bit of functional nudity by the guys like when Jake Gyllenhall is washing his clothes in the river wearing nothing but cowboy boots (which I know has to fulfill a fantasy for someone somewhere in the world) but you don't see anything really. There are a couple quick boob shots of the two female leads which I guess were a bone for all the straight guys that got dragged to the movie by a wife or girlfriend. I primarily mention the sex and nudity to emphasize my point that the controversy for this movie is totally unwarranted. It wasn't some homosexual boinkfest like some people tried to make it out to be.

Michelle Williams was excellent, as was Anne Hathaway, who is one of my favorite beautiful brunette actresses. Unfortunately, she gets blonder as her character gets older ala Penelope Cruz in "Blow". Does that happen in real life? I'm that side of 35 and I'm still a brunette... Another girl whose name I don't know played Heath Ledger's daughter and I recognized her from "Nip/Tuck". If you watch N/T, she was the redheaded lesbian that Matt was in love with for a a couple episodes. Also making a minor appearance is the adorable Linda Cardellini, currently of ER, but whom I first knew as Lindsay on the grossly underappreciated show "Freaks & Geeks." I'm reallly happy to see Cardellini in such a BIG movie. I hope it boosts her career. She deserves it. As for Jake G, all I can say is have you seen the man's eyelashes? I kept thinking they reminded me of some other long-lashed boy and then it came to me....Jared Leto of "My So-Called Life." Both Leto and Gyllenhall are just downright pretty to look at. And Jake G has such a perfect nose. Noses aren't a "thing" with me but his is so...perfect; I just had to mention it. To be honest, I never noticed Gyllenhall much until Brokeback Mountain but I'll be watching for him from now on. Look out, Johnny Depp. Your cheekbones might be getting bumped for eyelashes and a perfect nose...

I don't want to really give away any of the story so I won't discuss that aspect except to reiterate that I thought it was terribly sad. (This should be taken with a grain of salt, though. I am, after all, the person who tears up during the Olympics and sometimes when I watch a marching band. Please don't ask me to explain that last one. I don't even understand it myself)

Profanity Alert!!!! (for the easily offended, which you probably aren't if you read this blog regularly)

All in all, I give Brokeback Mountain two thumbs up. The only thing that was bad about my experience was the FREAKSHOW in the theater that wouldn't shut the fuck up. At one point, I thought I may have yelled at a handicapped person but after getting a good look at the asshole, I think not. From the previews on, this guy that was there by himself kept making all these weird noises and moaning really loud and occasionally he would blurt out "homo" or "fag". I was seething. This is the one motherfucking day that I have all to myself so I go to see a movie and I'll be damned if I was going to listen to this piece of shit blab through the whole thing for two goddamned hours. So early on I said really loud "Shut the hell up!" and he did. But it didn't last. After about 30 minutes I went and complained and someone came and told him to shut up. But of course, it started up again. I was ready to go attack him with my icee cup but I really did want to watch the movie so I did my best to ignore him. What blew me away is how nobody else would say a word to the guy. He was SO obnoxious. Sorry, but I'm just not that passive. But after listening to him for nearly 2 hours, I started to wonder if he had Tourette Syndrome and I felt bad for a nanosecond. Then when the lights came on I stood up and glared at him and not surprisingly, he looked wasted. On the way out, I asked this other woman what she thought and she said she was going to complain, so we went together. The manager was apologetic and gave us each a free pass. Big whoop. How about giving me my day back?

Later, I was looking at cameras in Sears and who should be walking right past but HIM, the whooping, moaning, epithet-blurting, movie-wrecking freak from the theater. He was talking to himself and saying "I saw the Brokeback Mountain" so I go "Yeah, I know and you totally ruined the whole movie for everyone. Thanks a lot" And he stops and looks at me incredulously like he has no clue. He made this noise like when Scooby Doo goes "Huhhh?", as if to ask me why I would say such a thing. So I said "You didn't shut up through the entire movie. It was completely rude." And in that moment, I realized that while he didn't appear to have Tourette Syndrome anymore, this person may not be playing with a full deck and I decided to back off. He could have cared less. He ambled away, still talking to himself. And me? Well, I felt a lot better having had the chance to vent at the actual source of my irritation, for what it was worth. All's well that ends well. As for cameras, apparently the only kind of digital camera that don't have that annoying delay are the big SLR kinds. The $500 to $1000 kind. Not what I wanted to hear...


  • Thanks for the update. I was very curious. I may have to go alone - it's playing here... I have heard it's sad as well. I'm not worried about the love scenes as much as the sadness - and no kidding about the violence. Cripes, I watch Piggy hiya poor Kermie everyday and I wonder if my child is getting exposed to violence - and that's nothing - so what's a little gay sex?!!

    I HATE when people talk in movies - probably why I haven't gone to a theater in years. It really bothers me - I'm impressed that you said something though.

    And ps, I just totally cried to that damn Applebees commercial when the girl brings dinner for the old lady.


    By Anonymous Kristen, at 2/12/2006 06:14:00 PM  

  • This was a great post! You're such a natural storyteller. I saw Brokeback with my sister and we both totally cried. And isn't it kinda scary when you're talking to someone and realize they're not all "there?"

    PS: add my mom to the "brunettes who go blonde with age" column. She says she's just easing the way into white hair. I have my own theories. :)

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 2/12/2006 07:33:00 PM  

  • I guess the whole "controversy" is a republican homophobic good ol boy attitude, which says that anyone who is homosexual is controversial, and if there is a movie made about it, than they never even have to TOUCH each other for a field day to start amongst bible-thumping homophobes.

    However, the redneck double standard CLEARLY states that if there are two chicks getting it on than the movie is 5 stars. And then there is the whole thing where it's not okay to be gay but it is okay to get falling down piss ass drunk and beat your wife. Because domestic violence is so much better than homesexuality, right? And so is racism, and how about being uneducated.

    I guess what bothers me about the whole homophobe thing is that people are STEREOTYPING other people. Which I would never ever do, not even to a redneck bible thumping republican.

    P.S. I guess that my point is "tolerance" and maybe a little bit of Big and Rich's philosophy.... Love Everyone.... and Stop Prejiduce. If you don't like it, than shut the fuck up.

    By Blogger dazed, at 2/12/2006 08:05:00 PM  

  • I honestly don't think there's been that much controversy about the movie. I expected more. I'm happy that more people haven't made a fuss. The most that's happened out of this is a lot of immature people have made stupid gay cowboy jokes. Which I can handle in light of the fact that this film is reaching millions of people whose minds it might change just a little.

    (Wow. I didn't realize I was such an optimist.)

    By Blogger DeAnn, at 2/13/2006 12:38:00 AM  

  • Hey Izzy, thanks for your comments on my blog about Michelle Kwan...yeah, when you watch someone skate for a dozen years, you definitely are pulling for them to conquer all and finally win the gipper. OK, had to say it! ;-)

    Nice review of Brokeback Mtn...yeah, I don't see what the fuss was all about...I saw the movie in Fairbanks a few weeks ago on vacation before it was out in Columbus....that's right...Alaska gets the Oscar nominees before Ohio. Gotta love it.

    Anyway, thanks for stopping by meltwater. torrents. meanderings. delta. Keep up the great work on your blog, I love your writing style.

    By Blogger Matthew S. Urdan, at 2/13/2006 10:05:00 AM  

  • I am proud of you for standing up to the guy, no matter if he was there or not...I am usually WAY too chicken to do anything like that.

    Did I tell you I KNOW one of the "My So-Called Life" writers? She is my writing hero because that was such a great show.

    By Blogger SUEB0B, at 2/13/2006 11:14:00 PM  

  • Sue: Thank you *curtsy* I have always been nervy in a stupidly dangerous, get-my-ass-kicked kind of way. You posted to another entry about your writers group and that a writer from MSCL was in in it and I was so psyched, I wrote you an email back and it bounced back to me because my comment thing doesn't request email addresses. DUH! This is what I wrote:

    "I love My So-Called Life! I have it on DVD. I agree, it was one of the better written shows on TV...ever. Please tell her that for me. I'm a bit of a dork in that I actually get attached to shows and their characters when they are so well done. I also love Thirtysomething and Felicity, which if I am not mistaken have some people in common with MSCL, perhaps in a six-degrees kind of way. I think it's fabulous that you get paid to write."

    By Blogger IzzyMom, at 2/13/2006 11:36:00 PM  

  • Kristen: You should go see it before it's gone. Those preggo crying hormones lol They'll have you crying at all kinds of stuff. ER is bad one to watch when you're expecting. And how about Grey's Anatomy last night? I sobbed like a total fool when i thought Bailey's hub was gonna die as her baby was born. And Q is so cute OMG OMG OMG! x 78. Am I making you nauseated? I forgot you're pregnant for a sec there. Sorry!

    Dazed: You go girl! You tell those Repub homophobes how it is! You could run for office, sista!

    Deann: Maybe the controversy was just locally. There were some idiots making a big stink about it. But I really liked it and hope it wins tons of awards!

    Jess: A compliment from a writer...I love it!!! Thanks :-)

    Matthew: Us figure skating lovers gotta stick together. Thanks for the kind words. Love your blog, too. It's very unique!

    By Blogger IzzyMom, at 2/13/2006 11:56:00 PM  

  • I loved that movie! I saw it with my sister and thought it was wonderful. And I agree with whoever said that you were brave for standing up to the noisemaker. I would never be able to do that :)

    By Blogger Michelle, at 2/14/2006 08:59:00 AM  

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