More fun than a poke in the eye...

Thursday 1:15 am

In case you were wondering what I did all day today, in no particular order...

- Read daughter 2,817 books. Okay, it was more like 7.
- Briefly considered going to the grocery store. Decided hunger was more palateable
- Found daughter slathering herself from head to toe in body glitter gel. Decided there were worse things, such as covering herself in magic marker. Again. "They're tattoos!!!!"
- Talked to a friend I haven't spoken to in months. Set up playdate for tomorrow. At her house! Yesssss! *high five myself*
- Went to the mall with daughter to exchange too-small Christmas gifts for the baby Buddha. Would have been a lot more fun on acid. Apparently post-Christmas shopping is still happening.
- Bought a pretty, shiny new saucepan at Linens n Things
- Threw away tired old poisonous Teflon saucepan.
- Listened to daughter endlessly weigh the merits of her American Girl doll over her friend's American Girl dolls. Her doll wins every time.
- Held cranky teething 21 lb baby ALL day long except when he napped. Inspected arms in mirror to determine whether or not I resemble Popeye.
- Played "Finding Nemo" Uno with daughter.
- Took a nap. Too short.
- Spent way too much time on phone trying to locate mercury-free flu shots for kids. Mission accomplished. I rock.
- Looked at credit card statement online. Almost choked.
- Decided to look into cruise idea for next Christmas. Ponder the idea of going alone.(I can dream, can't I?)
- Watched daughter and friend trash house while "playing"
- Decided w/ husband that Saturdays are his day & Sundays are mine for much-needed downtime away from tiresome familial responsibilities
- Listened to baby cry for what seemed like eternity while trying to teach him to sleep in a crib like a normal infant. Extremely difficult and heartbreaking.
- Ate a couple microwave pancakes at 9:30. Breakfast food rules.
- Read news online, emptied out SPAM email folder. Decided to further procrastinate on numerous obligatory emails .
- Got irritated at cat #2 for picking fight with cat #1 again.
- Talked to friend long distance. Discussed pros and cons of receiving monthly stipend from meddling in-laws (hers, not mine). Concluded that only amounts in excess of $2000* per month would be worth it.

*This figure is, of course, contingent on the degree to which one dislikes their in-laws. In many cases, a higher figure would be warranted.