Monday, January 30, 2006

Told ya so...

I told you that my being all happy and boring wouldn't last. Well...maybe I'm still boring. Only you can decide that as I'm obviously biased. But right now I'm grumpy and cranky and feeling perhaps a wee bit hateful. My kids are great. Husband is fine. They've done nothing wrong. This is crabbishness from within (possibly due to sleep deprivation or early PMS).

When I'm like this, I get very annoyed with strangers and, particularly with rude idiots. In case you don't know, I really cannot stand thoughtless, inconsiderate behavior. If someone cuts me off when I'm walking or lets a door close in my face etc, and I am in this kind of mood, I'll call them an asshole or other equally insulting name just low enough that they're not quite sure that they heard what they think they heard. It's actually pretty funny. Sometimes, you can see them sort of stiffen or try to casually look around and see who said it. If they look at me, I look right back at them and smile. It totally confuses them. I know it's childish and passive-aggressive. I just have to act on my aggravation sometimes. It's therapeutic.

The good news is I am only like this intermittently. Most of the time I am my usual nice, self-deprecating and accomodating self. Isn't it funny how multi-dimensional people really are. I can be really nice and kind and sweet and be loved by children, animals and old people everywhere and in the same day, whisper "asshole" to some stranger at Target. This, I think, was one of my problems with the mom's club I used to be active in. I felt like we were all putting on our best Donna Reed/Carol Brady facades and it was really hard to be in a club with 40 other Donna Reeds or Carol Bradys. It actually made me get down on myself. I was like "So and so doesn't curse or use sarcasm or make fun of her mother-in-law mangling the English language..." and it even skewed my wardrobe. Suddenly, my "Elvis...Still the King" 70's t-shirt was juvenile and white trash-y instead of retro and vintage. My Pumas and Chucks were immature and tacky instead of classically hip and timeless. I have a stack of clothes in my room right now that I actually intend to get rid of because I look at them and I'm thinking WHAT on God's green earth made me buy this???? This stuff is NOT me.

I gotta tell you guys, strangers and blog friends alike, this is what's so great about the internet. You will eventually run into people that you click with, that don't care how many times you use the word "fuck" in your blog or that you wrote an entire post about some guys smelly balls or that you don't give a crap about having a super shiny sink. These same people won't care that I wrote a sappy post professing my love for my children or that I claim to love the internet. They will understand how I can love "Anne of Greene Gables" AND "American History X". They will "get" me.

Thank you, Internet. I love you :-)

I am really babbling and blathering and I might never shut up so I'm going to stop now. Thanks for the vent. I feel better already.

16 Comments:

  • Here here sistah. Here's to being tall chuck wearin mom's who swear like sailors. AH yeeeeaaaahhh.

    Oh, and when I flip people off in the car, I usually wave at them like I'm their best friend when they pass me (or vice versa).

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 1/30/2006 11:04:00 PM  

  • Are you refencing Fly lady with your shiny sink comment?

    LOL.

    By Blogger dazed, at 1/31/2006 12:10:00 AM  

  • Well, at least you would call someone an asshole at Target for a reason! ;-) Also, I wasn't expecting the "smelly balls" and laughed out loud when I got there.

    By Blogger Jess Riley, at 1/31/2006 12:27:00 AM  

  • Can I have your Elvis t-shirt then?
    I hear you. I hate mom's clubs and playgroups as a rule.
    I don't have anything in common with anyone...aside from kids. I am usually 10 years younger. I hate tattoos and listen to the same music as their kids.
    I own almost 20 pairs of Chucks, including faux leopard fur...but love the basic black the best. I make black baby onesies with the Ramones, Blink 182, The Clash, and things on them for my store.
    I have never understood why being a mom automatically means being uncool.
    I refuse to get old. I refuse to give into my mom-housewife, suburban lifestyle without some kicking and screaming.
    People who let the door shut in your face are assholes.

    Wanna' join my playgroup? We scrapbook and sell Mary Kay. (Not that there is anything wrong with those things).

    By Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel), at 1/31/2006 12:02:00 PM  

  • Make that I HAVE tattoos...not hate. Love them. Love. Them. Getting another one. Freakin' typos.

    By Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel), at 1/31/2006 12:03:00 PM  

  • I have tattoos too. I love them. Cripes - isn't it funny how the three of us "ran" into each here on the internet - chucks, tatts, smelly balls (okay not really)...

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 1/31/2006 01:58:00 PM  

  • Yeah, please leave off the smelly balls for me. Blech!

    By Blogger Mama! Mama! (Mel), at 1/31/2006 04:37:00 PM  

  • So glad you left me a comment and I found your blog! I feel I am among friends here! ha ha! BTW, I live in hurricane alley also!

    By Blogger my house is cuter than yours, at 1/31/2006 05:16:00 PM  

  • Too funny...this is true that there is an uncanny way that the internet can bring us together. Who knew!

    By Blogger nosouthernbelle, at 1/31/2006 08:50:00 PM  

  • Izzy -- I'm no typepad expert - although I think it's easy and worth the money. I will say you have to have the max level to get all your HTML code - when Kelly tried to give me custom side bars, she couldn't...

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 1/31/2006 11:11:00 PM  

  • Kristen & Mel,

    What are your tattoos of? I only have one. It's a sacred heart with my husband's name across it. It's very traditonal with flowers and flames and all that. Got it on my honeymoon, which I always thought was really kind of romantic in a not-vanilla kind of way. It's so permanent, like saying that you truly believe you will be together forever. He got my name, too. Actually, he has it a couple different places. He's a professional guy with tattoos underneath those long sleeved oxfords. It's really funny when we go somewhere and he's got on a preppy Ralph Lauren polo shirt and khaki shorts with all his tats showing. It confuses people, which I thoroughly enjoy :-)

    By Blogger IzzyMom, at 2/01/2006 12:34:00 AM  

  • Heh - I have four. And I love them all:

    Middle lower back (so played out, I know - but it was before then) - Middle name in Chinese - MEI -

    On foot (top) - Dragon Fly (tiny - like a foot accessory).

    Left ankele (outside) - Dragon - looks like a sea horse - it's all black - I'm thinking of getting it covered up with something new...

    Right ankle (around) - Green dragon - looks like a vine with leaves, but it's a dragon. My favorite. Done by SOUP in ann arbor MI - great color and I just love it.

    I love the idea of a tattoo on the honeymoon. I've been thinking about getting one with Q (first letter of daughter's name) - but I don't really have any cool spots left...

    By Anonymous Kristen, at 2/01/2006 09:54:00 AM  

  • Passive-Agressives Unite! I do the same thing. It has gotten better since I moved, but when I was in Rich White Assholeville, I was always muttering under my breath.

    My other thing was when someone would ram me with their grocery cart or step right in front of me without saying anything, I would carry on a conversation OUT LOUD like a crazy insane lady, (which I may well me), saying "Excuse me." "No, Excuse ME," "Oh, no, really, excuse me." "Quite all right." If they thought I was insane, well, fuckem. They started it.

    I have a zillion passive-aggressive tendencies. My ex expected me to do everything around the house. I did all the cooking (til I quit because of his whining), cleaning, wash, bill paying, shopping - even when I was in school full time with an almost full time job and he would be flopped on the couch watching the game.

    I finally thought "Enough." When he would try to add duties to my list, I would say "Sure!" and then never, ever do them. I guess it would have been easier to tell him "no way," but I just loved to create bewilderment. I'm a little twisted.

    By Blogger SUEB0B, at 2/02/2006 11:24:00 PM  

  • Sue: Rich White Assholeville, you say? We might have been neighbors...lol

    By Blogger IzzyMom, at 2/08/2006 11:16:00 PM  

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