Told ya so...

I told you that my being all happy and boring wouldn't last. Well...maybe I'm still boring. Only you can decide that as I'm obviously biased. But right now I'm grumpy and cranky and feeling perhaps a wee bit hateful. My kids are great. Husband is fine. They've done nothing wrong. This is crabbishness from within (possibly due to sleep deprivation or early PMS).

When I'm like this, I get very annoyed with strangers and, particularly with rude idiots. In case you don't know, I really cannot stand thoughtless, inconsiderate behavior. If someone cuts me off when I'm walking or lets a door close in my face etc, and I am in this kind of mood, I'll call them an asshole or other equally insulting name just low enough that they're not quite sure that they heard what they think they heard. It's actually pretty funny. Sometimes, you can see them sort of stiffen or try to casually look around and see who said it. If they look at me, I look right back at them and smile. It totally confuses them. I know it's childish and passive-aggressive. I just have to act on my aggravation sometimes. It's therapeutic.

The good news is I am only like this intermittently. Most of the time I am my usual nice, self-deprecating and accomodating self. Isn't it funny how multi-dimensional people really are. I can be really nice and kind and sweet and be loved by children, animals and old people everywhere and in the same day, whisper "asshole" to some stranger at Target. This, I think, was one of my problems with the mom's club I used to be active in. I felt like we were all putting on our best Donna Reed/Carol Brady facades and it was really hard to be in a club with 40 other Donna Reeds or Carol Bradys. It actually made me get down on myself. I was like "So and so doesn't curse or use sarcasm or make fun of her mother-in-law mangling the English language..." and it even skewed my wardrobe. Suddenly, my "Elvis...Still the King" 70's t-shirt was juvenile and white trash-y instead of retro and vintage. My Pumas and Chucks were immature and tacky instead of classically hip and timeless. I have a stack of clothes in my room right now that I actually intend to get rid of because I look at them and I'm thinking WHAT on God's green earth made me buy this???? This stuff is NOT me.

I gotta tell you guys, strangers and blog friends alike, this is what's so great about the internet. You will eventually run into people that you click with, that don't care how many times you use the word "fuck" in your blog or that you wrote an entire post about some guys smelly balls or that you don't give a crap about having a super shiny sink. These same people won't care that I wrote a sappy post professing my love for my children or that I claim to love the internet. They will understand how I can love "Anne of Greene Gables" AND "American History X". They will "get" me.

Thank you, Internet. I love you :-)

I am really babbling and blathering and I might never shut up so I'm going to stop now. Thanks for the vent. I feel better already.