The *N* Word (or Why Mommy Still Hasn't Told You the REAL Name for Your...)

5 yr Old Daughter: This dog has two puppies and two suckees (referring to a toy dog)

Me: Uhh...they're um actually called "nipples" (cringing inwardly at the use of the actual name for a body part, even for a dog, because I am a dork that cannot use those words with any degree of ease)

5 yr Old Daughter: Nipples? (pausing and looking sufficiently horrified, as one might expect from a child of mine)

5 yr Old Daughter: Well... (thinking for a moment) On this dog, they're called suckees.

Damn right they are!