Insert Real Post Here

Yes. I know you guys are all tired of looking at the Pimping My Store post below this one. But I don't have time right now to compose a post that would be worthy of you. Why? because I'm too busy visiting all YOUR blogs. Keeping up with my ever-expanding blogroll is hard enough. Throw in the blogs I have bookmarked and I basically have a full fucking time job going here. Except nobody's paying me, which I guess is fair. People typically only pay other people to do things they DON'T enjoy which is a very cruel irony, IMO. Okay, must scamper off to read more blogs before settling down to do the work that does, in fact, pay me.

Oh, also...don't forget about the Grey's Anatomy thing on Oprah tomorrow. While I'm here, I gotta, say, that while I love me some GA, I 've been a bit disappointed with the last few epsiodes. They're just not grabbing me like they were. I'm not "feeling" the characters, if you know what I mean. The first season was SO good, I know it's hard to top but couldn't they just sort of...maintain? All you writerly people and TV people out there probably have some thoughts on this. Feel free to enlighten me. Also, George's hair...WHAT IS THE FUCKING DEAL WITH IT?????? I want to jump through the TV with my wire dog brush and comb out that damned nasty, messy, fucking hair of his. YICK!!!

Sorry...I got a little carried away there ;-p

Izzywig

I would like to take a moment to introduce Izzywig, my Cafe Press shop. I've got some cool items there to benefit a charity called Depression After Delivery. Wait! Don't stop reading yet. Please? Thanks :-)

Some time ago, I had set up a Cafe Press shop for an animal rescue charity that I work with locally. I became intrigued and I decided to open a shop of my own. I made a couple designs and then I got pregnant again and never did anything with them until now…

I cannot take full credit for the idea, really. I have two people to thank for inspiring me. The first is Kristen from Motherhood Uncensored who has some awesome Motherduds shirts for sale to benefit the American Cancer Society.

The second person is Dawn from I’m Doing the Best I Can because she recently wrote a post that reminded me of my own experience with postpartum depression.

When I really stopped and thought about my bout with PPD, a memory I have tried to forget for a long time, I realized that this is an issue that needs more attention. In five years, and especially as the president of a Moms Club, I have met dozens of women who experienced moderate to severe PPD beyond “the baby blues” and most of them suffered in silence for a long time before their symptoms were recognized by a friend, family member or health professional. How, in this day and age, is that possible? We know in mere minutes that dumbass Britney Spears chose not to use a carseat but we can’t get people to recognize and acknowledge PPD when they see it? It's not just an illness for crazy women who drown their children.

And when someone does try to shed light on PPD, like Brooke Shields, stupid asswipe Tom Cruise comes along and minimizes it. That's bullshit and it has to change and that’s where these shirts and other items come in.

To that end, I’ve come up with a few designs (on a variety of items) that celebrate moms, dads, women and all of us bloggers here in cyberspace. I’ve only marked them up $1 and that profit will go directly to Depression After Delivery.

There’s absolutely no pressure to buy anything but if you decide to make a purchase, please know you are supporting a worthy cause and helping women and babies for generations to come.

Check out the booty here!

ALSO: Scroll down to see my UPDATE on "It's a Growth Experience, Dammit!"

Grey's Anatomy Alert (UPDATED)

I was just flipping channels looking for the weather and happened to notice that Oprah is on, which is weird because she usually comes on at 4pm here. Maybe they changed it because of the Olympics. But anyway, she just showed the highlights for tomorrow.

First is her pal Gayle King searching for the best burger in the country. Ohhhh...someone pinch me! I love me some Gayle King. Now don't forget to set your TiVo!!!!

(Okay, I was being really sarcastic and I apologize. Some of you might actually want to see the gripping great burger hunt with Gayle King)

The thing I am excited about, however, is a segment about the secrets of Grey's Anatomy. "Meredith" gave a sound bite saying something about what it's like to kiss Patrick Dempsey and you KNOW you wanna see it and you KNOW you WILL be settin' the TiVo for it. Mmmmhmmm. I know.

UPDATE: On Wednesday night, Barbara Walters is interviewing Patrick Dempsey. She's also interviewing Matthew McConnaghey, George Clooney and the always-good-for-a-laugh Mariah Carey. I predict 10-11 pm eastern will be very quiet in blogland.

Too Freakin Cute Alert!!!!
My daughter wanted to play doctor's office so she had me get on a scale (a step stool) to weigh me and she goes "You're just the right size for a mommy" I thought my heart might explode. Granted...this is the child that told me my "tummy was still fat" a couple months ago, but still...it was very sweet.

Other News
I also wanted to point out a very important post by Dawn about postpartum depression and her own experience with PPD. As someone who also suffered from it rather severely after the birth of my first child, I think it's important to bring this topic to light as much as possible. Please check it out, if you are so inclined.

And finally, Kristen, myself and a few other moms have a new project called "Cool Mom Shit!" and it's a blog featuring cool things for moms. No, no actual shit is involved :-) Anyway, please drop by and take a look, 'cause it's cool!

Is this something? or Nothing?

Hello Internet. I have a question to ask you. While I am frequently not serious and make light of many, many things, this is for real and I need your advice.

If your child came home from school and said that another child, a girl, age 4 said to her:

"...I hate myself. I wish I was a boy."

and your child, who is only five but very perceptive, said that the child who made the above statement seemed to not be joking when she said it, would you feel concerned enough to let the child's teacher know?

I don't want to butt in or make a big thing out of nothing because I hate when people do that but if you watch any TV at all, you know that children with gender identity issues frequently suffer a great deal until they reach a point where they are able to do something about it. In fact, 60 Minutes recently did a piece discussing, sex, gender preferences etc. and how it is, in fact, discernible in young children way before they themselves understand what they are feeling. That having been said, I'm not sure if this is even the case or what but if it was MY child, I'd want to know if she was saying she hated herself. Gender issues aside, it pains me to think of a child feeling that way.

Incidentally, this is not someone that my daughter knows well. She is in another class and they see each other on the playground usually but my daughter thought it was unusual enough to tell me about it. Once again, maybe it's nothing. Or maybe it isn't.

So...you can see that I am concerned. But what should I do?

UPDATE: I talked to the teacher and she confided in me that she had some concerns of her own and she will be addressing them, which totally makes me feel better. But looking at my stats today, I'm surprised to see how many people were here that didn't have anything to say about this. Anyway, I will probably delete this later as the matter has been resolved, AFIC. I'm just leaving it up so anyone who cares can read the update.

Another Vain Diva Lost to Motherhood

Can we talk? Because I'd like to confess that I used to be a vain woman. Vain, vain, vain! A prime example of early vain divahood...at summer camp, age 13, my BFF and I wore Maybelline waterproof liquid eyeliner and mascara so we'd look hot (hott!) even after being in and out of the pool all day. All through junior high and high school I threw tantrums and broke countless hairbrushes because "my hair isn't going right." (Going right? Is that even English? WTF?) Can you imagine? I was expected to go to school with imperfect hair....the horror!

So you get the picture, right? Fast forward two decades and two kids and boy have things changed. I don't want to say that I've let myself go but seriously, do I actually have time to be like that anymore? Hell no! I'd love to say that becoming a stereotypical ponytailed, no-makeup soccer mom (actually, make that gymnastics mom) has been a freeing experience, that I am happy to no longer be a prisoner within the iron maiden of beauty, but I can't.

In my office, which happens to be in the center of the house, there is a mirrored closet that you have to pass to get through the room. I see myself in that thing 6,000 times a day and I swear sometimes I wonder who that woman is. She looks tired and man...wasn't she wearing that t-shirt yesterday? What's up with that hair? And her skin? I think that woman in the mirror needs a spa day...and fast. The saddest part is that while I long for the days when I had the time to be vain, a part of me kind of doesn't care that much anymore what other people think. I actually go to the grocery store with no makeup (okay...tinted lip gloss maybe) and flip flops and dirty hair and I'm okay with it (as long as I don't run into anyone I knew before kids...lol) I mean I drive a MINIVAN, for crissakes. I've pretty much thrown in the towel on so many levels. But I know that soon enough, both kids will be in school and I'll have more time to ponder what it means to be beautiful (or feeling not so beautiful, in my case) and decide exactly how much maintenance I'm willing to do for it.

One thing I've never been is a poodle; my term for someone who spends an inordinate amount of time being groomed at nail, hair & tanning salons, getting facials, and having dates with personal trainers. I should clarify that I don't dislike poodles and to some degree, I envy them; for they have the time and resources to pursue such an intensive regimen of pampering and grooming and well...I don't. I'll probably never be be a poodle but maybe I'll get to a place where my vanity actually helps me begin to recognize that strange woman in the mirror again.

As a sidebar, yesterday in one of my legendary Target shopping binges, I bought a L'oreal micro-dermabrasion kit. I used it last night for the first time and can I tell you...that is the best $17 I've spent on my non-diva self in a while. My face feels as smooth as my baby's butt and it really does look brighter, smoother and I daresay...just a bit tighter. And this is just the first day! Check it out if you feel like your skin is looking blah. I'm giving it my stamp of approval.

This is an old essay from Salon.com, written by a guy, celebrating the hotness of real moms. It's a classic. Check it out.

Asking the Tough Questions...

To whoever keeps finding me by googling "sexy isabel" I'd like to believe you're looking for me. If you're not, don't tell me, k?

To the person who found me by googling "mystery bloating downtown" please explain yourself. Seriously, dude. What IS that?

And finally, would anyone care to explain why they call those big womens underwear "briefs". I'd really like to know because there is nothing brief about them. They're HUGE.

That is all.

Good Stuff This Week

Sometimes I like to post of things I've read elsewhere that I think are worth sharing. Some people look at this as filler, like I didn't want to take the time to make a "real" post and there is some truth to that right now. I've actually been busy working on "work" stuff and also on getting my blog moved to my own domain and off of Blogger. In case you are interested, I decided to go with Movable Type because apples to apples it pleases me more than anything else I've looked at and I've seen just about everything out there. I'll broadcast my new address as soon as I have it all sorted out.

The Goods:

• I read a great post about mean girls and one blogger's experiences at Goosie, Mousie, Daddy & Me.

• Jess Riley posted some funny stuff about when she was a kid that made me laugh out loud

• Mel from Mama! Mama! did a Thursday 13 that also had me rolling.

• Kristen posted a a beautiful pregnancy photo and her birth story, Part 1 and Part 2. If this doesn't make you choke up a little, then I just don't know...

• "Blog to Riches — The Haves and Have-Nots of the Blogging Boom" is a feature in this month's New York Magazine. I found it most interesting.

• I discovered California Dad blogger Tony's site, Creative Types, by accident. I have to like any fellow blogger parent who feels as contemptuous about Bratz dolls as I do.

• And finally a place with lots of cool clothes and accessories for girls like me who love computers and the internet and other tech-ish things. I dig the "http" underwear.

***Check out my new renter "Kitchen Fun with Donna & Friends" Her site is comprised of zillions of recipes put together by a group and I swear, every single one I looked at sounded delicious. Please drop by and high five Donna & Friends!***

My 80's Alter Ego

I was tagged for this by Mrs. Fortune and Kristen. So here we go! My 80's Alter Ego is *drum roll* none other than...


Molly Ringwald (Samantha) in "Sixteen Candles". She was a little bit of a dork but a very cool dork, she listened to great music and she was a fairly snappy dresser (considering it was the 80's). Plus...NO BIG HAIR! I never had big, crunchy hair EVER but I do confess to having a bi-level *cringing*

Also in keeping with the 80's theme, I was inspired by Rhonda and have decided I must buy a Smiths t-shirt just like the one I used to have. Right now.

Also...if you haven't yet been tagged yet for My 80's Alter Ego and you're not a total meme hater, then consider yourself tagged. Come back and post here that yours is up so I can come read it.

Househunting or How to Become Totally Dejected in an Afternoon

Well...we've finally come to a decision. We need a bigger house. We've known this for a while (like 2 days after we bought this one) but we've put it off for a long time because we didn't want to compromise on neighborhoods. You know...sell your house, take the money and buy a bigger house either in the 'burbs and have a loooong commute or move to a bigger house in a crappier neighborhood and hope it gets better. I want another option, please, like winning the HGTV Dream Home. I enter like 300 times every year but, as you can see, the Gods of Desirable Housing have snubbed me repeatedly.

I don't know what the housing markets are like elsewhere but let's just say that I live in a state where you can hardly afford homeowners insurance because of hurricanes. Bearing this in mind, why, oh why, have houses nearly tripled in price here in the last four years? You'd think we were in California but we're not. Pay scales here still suck and most jobs in this state are in the service sector, not technology or entertainment. That said, we don't deserve to pay such high prices here. *stamping foot indignantly*

We went and looked at a few things today and I was horrified to see what $300,000 will buy you within the city limits. That is our ceiling. We can afford a little more but we don't want to be "house poor" and we also know that as insurance and taxes continue to skyrocket here, so will our mortgage so we have drawn a line and if we are not completely disgusted by what other offerings our realtor has for us, we will stick to it.

House #1 was new construction in a bungalow style and very big and pretty but the neighborhood, while not totally ghetto, was clearly one that had not made the transition into gentrification yet. Yes, gentrification is a dirty word and I'm not supposed to like it but I do. I like when ugly, run-down neighborhoods get turned around and thus revitalize the urban core. The people who sell their houses do so by choice. Their taxes are capped at 3% so they will are never priced out of their own homes. If they choose to cash out and sell it to someone who will fix it up and take good care of it, then I have no problem with it. Unfortunately, we can't afford any of those beautiful, already long-gentrified (and safe) neighborhoods lined with grandfather oaks and stately old homes with front porches and Victorian gingerbread. But I digress...

All the other houses we looked at were in the same area and while there might be one or two renovated and well-kept homes, there would be several more that had cars on blocks and screen doors retaining hordes of barking dogs or children in nothing but diapers (no offense but the Walmart-baby look bugs me A LOT). This is a far cry from the neighborhood I live in right now. While the homes are smaller (1200 sf on the average) most are immaculately kept and the area is safe and in the best school district in the entire county (and it's a big county).

My chief complaint about my neighborhood is that a lot of homes have been bought by investors and are now being rented. This includes the house next door to me, which until recently, was inhabited by a family with a daughter the same age as mine. HOW SWEET IS THAT?????? We had a built-in playmate for her and a mommy friend for me. But the house sold and now we have these two single guys living there. Grown men in their early thirties that you would think had a fucking clue about how NOT to piss off your neighbors. But no, they don't. These asswipes — ADULT asswipes, have the kind of speakers in their cars that make your windows rattle. Apparently, they have these kind of speakers in the house, too. I have gone over there SO many times asking as nicely as I can through gritted teeth that they please turn down the bass and to please not pull in or out of their driveway, which is obscenely close to my bedroom, with their bass bumpin' out. While I appreciate their love of bass, the feeling it vibrating the interior of my nose on the other side of the house, does not generate much in the way of tolerance or good will. They always apologize and then try to get away from me as quickly as possible, which really weirds me out. I am THAT menacing? I've nicknamed one of them "Ears" because his ears look like a cross between Dumbo's and Dopey the dwarf's. I walked up on Ears the other day when he was outside and I guess I'm pretty stealth because he jumped about a foot when he saw me....lol. But really, what is the deal with grown men driving around bassing the whole world with their stereos? Is that some kind of new mating ritual or something? 'Cause if it is, I'm NEVER getting a divorce. I'll stay married to this one if that's what is out there. Losers. Yick...

So anyway, I don't know what to do but we hate having shitty renter neighbors and a small house and we also hate commuting. We hate living in the small house in the nice 'hood but we refuse to go the "278 barking dogs and babies-in-diapers" neighborhood to get a house we actually like. Where's the middle ground? I'm actually really kind of depressed about our options. And we can't add on because we have laws about cutting down grandfather oaks here and we'd have to do that in order to expand this house. I love trees, too, but God... We're completely fucked.

I've begged my husband to take me out here to someplace progressive and interesting where maybe we'd be able to afford a house in a decent neighborhood. I'm not sure a place like that exists but I'm willing to look for it. He's resisted a lot until recently. He's been making noises about someday moving to Oregon as he has friends out there that are very happy. I'd go there. Any Oregonians out there want to clue me in on what I just agreed to???

The Next Survivor Series

{Received via email; author unknown. My comments are in orange}

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. Hubz? Are you kidding?

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Hubz would lose this round for sure.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. And this one.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. Not without me there to bug him.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. Just don't take away his computer.

There is only one TV between them, and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons. Hubz might actually win this round

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches. I'd like to see this

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing. And this

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-yr old boy finds it in the purse. And all of this

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes. Hubz might win this round if not for the "They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes" part

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child'sweight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. He's a goner

They must clean up after their sick children at 2am and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me." Do rhymes about bodily functions count as "loving"?

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mom! I give him a year.

Anthropomorphism Sucks...

Anthropomorphism: The act of ascribing human motivation and characteristics to inanimate objects, animals or natural phenomena.

If anyone out there is in the movie business or anything close to it, please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT, tell your studio bosses and producer friends that movies with animals that act like people and speak in full sentences, complete with naughty double-entendres are STUPID, PLAYED OUT, and rarely ever suitable for small children. Period.

It was all funny and charming when Robin Williams played the wisecracking genie (yes, I know genies are not animals but close enough) in Aladdin but I'm telling you — that ship has sailed. Muster up a collective teapsoon of creativity and find a NEW gimmick! Furthermore, why do these stupid characters have to yell every two and a half seconds? They all sound like they're channeling Sam Kinison, undoubtedly the most annoying semi-celebrity in comedic history.

In case you're wondering where all this is coming from...I took my daughter to see "Curious George" today and it was beautifully animated and a very charming movie for little kids (thank you, Ron Howard). This means little or no screaming and no violence (yes, even when it's made to look funny, kicking the crap out of someone is STILL violence) and a general theme of good values that anyone with children (that isn't a total loser) would like their kids to be exposed to.

I wish I could say the same about the TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES of lame trailers for retarded movies that I would NEVER take a 5 year old to see, let alone a 2, 3 or 4 year old, the primary demographic in the theater. I had a pounding headache from sensory overload and my daughter, who is very sheltered, was exposed to everything but freaking pornography in those 20 minutes. Never again will I get to a movie early and sit through that crap when I have my kids with me. NEVER.

And in other parenting news... if you somehow missed the story of the camera-stealing family of assholes, check it here.

To the person who wrote this...

I love you.

(This photo came from another blog that Hubz referred me to. I appreciate the sentiment because we have people like that in our neighborhood with their stupid car alarms and barking dogs going off for what feels like eternity. If I wasn't so lazy, I might be inclined to find them and leave them a note like this one)

The Not Hot V-Day Survey

Happy Valentines Day to those who acknowledge the holiday. Hubz and I agreed not to make a big thing out of it since neither of us ever feels like racing around at the last minute to buy teddy bears, flowers and candy for each other. I did get my daughter a pair of socks with pink hearts all over them and a little heart stamp that lights up. But she's five, easy to please and fun to shop for. I doubt I'd get the same enthusiastic response from Hubz about such trinkets.

So anyway... I was thinking it's time to let our hair down and have a little fun. Are you in?

Today's assignment is to share with us your not-hot crushes. What celeb or public figure do you have the hots for that would never be a candidate for People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" issue? Who are you crushing on that you know would be considered odd or found downright inexplicable by most people?

Also, I'd like to take a minute to welcome my new renter "Occasional Melancholia". I perused her blog a bit last night and it's good stuff. Click the sidebar link to drop by her place and see for yourself :-)

Okay! Get thinking on your not-hot submissions*. Guys are welcome to play, too!

*The only rule is the you can't make fun of anyone else's submissions.

Brokeback Crazy Mofo Camera Shopping Day

I went to see Brokeback Mountain yesterday ALL BY MYSELF. (not that I wanted to go all alone but it was nice to be somewhere without kids that doesn't involve a shopping cart and things that will melt if I don't go straight home) For those of you who haven't seen it, Brokeback Mountain is a heartbreakingly sad love story. I very much enjoyed it but I really don't see what the controversy was all about. I can turn on my TV on a Sunday afternoon and see depictions of violence that will turn my stomach but a story that involves love between two people of the same gender is a problem? We really are a screwed up society. (but you knew that already, right?) There was some sex between the main characters but I wouldn't say it was graphic. I've never witnessed actual gay man sex so I don't know if it would be considered an accurate portrayal but I'm guessing it was, particularly the "manliness" of it and some of the awkwardness, too. In many ways, the scenes exhibited a certain tenderness, which made them kind of hot in a weird way. You should know that "tender" is a word I rarely use except maybe to describe baby back ribs or steamed carrots but in this case, it is warranted

There wasn't any extreme nudity but a little bit of functional nudity by the guys like when Jake Gyllenhall is washing his clothes in the river wearing nothing but cowboy boots (which I know has to fulfill a fantasy for someone somewhere in the world) but you don't see anything really. There are a couple quick boob shots of the two female leads which I guess were a bone for all the straight guys that got dragged to the movie by a wife or girlfriend. I primarily mention the sex and nudity to emphasize my point that the controversy for this movie is totally unwarranted. It wasn't some homosexual boinkfest like some people tried to make it out to be.

Michelle Williams was excellent, as was Anne Hathaway, who is one of my favorite beautiful brunette actresses. Unfortunately, she gets blonder as her character gets older ala Penelope Cruz in "Blow". Does that happen in real life? I'm that side of 35 and I'm still a brunette... Another girl whose name I don't know played Heath Ledger's daughter and I recognized her from "Nip/Tuck". If you watch N/T, she was the redheaded lesbian that Matt was in love with for a a couple episodes. Also making a minor appearance is the adorable Linda Cardellini, currently of ER, but whom I first knew as Lindsay on the grossly underappreciated show "Freaks & Geeks." I'm reallly happy to see Cardellini in such a BIG movie. I hope it boosts her career. She deserves it. As for Jake G, all I can say is have you seen the man's eyelashes? I kept thinking they reminded me of some other long-lashed boy and then it came to me....Jared Leto of "My So-Called Life." Both Leto and Gyllenhall are just downright pretty to look at. And Jake G has such a perfect nose. Noses aren't a "thing" with me but his is so...perfect; I just had to mention it. To be honest, I never noticed Gyllenhall much until Brokeback Mountain but I'll be watching for him from now on. Look out, Johnny Depp. Your cheekbones might be getting bumped for eyelashes and a perfect nose...

I don't want to really give away any of the story so I won't discuss that aspect except to reiterate that I thought it was terribly sad. (This should be taken with a grain of salt, though. I am, after all, the person who tears up during the Olympics and sometimes when I watch a marching band. Please don't ask me to explain that last one. I don't even understand it myself)

Profanity Alert!!!! (for the easily offended, which you probably aren't if you read this blog regularly)

All in all, I give Brokeback Mountain two thumbs up. The only thing that was bad about my experience was the FREAKSHOW in the theater that wouldn't shut the fuck up. At one point, I thought I may have yelled at a handicapped person but after getting a good look at the asshole, I think not. From the previews on, this guy that was there by himself kept making all these weird noises and moaning really loud and occasionally he would blurt out "homo" or "fag". I was seething. This is the one motherfucking day that I have all to myself so I go to see a movie and I'll be damned if I was going to listen to this piece of shit blab through the whole thing for two goddamned hours. So early on I said really loud "Shut the hell up!" and he did. But it didn't last. After about 30 minutes I went and complained and someone came and told him to shut up. But of course, it started up again. I was ready to go attack him with my icee cup but I really did want to watch the movie so I did my best to ignore him. What blew me away is how nobody else would say a word to the guy. He was SO obnoxious. Sorry, but I'm just not that passive. But after listening to him for nearly 2 hours, I started to wonder if he had Tourette Syndrome and I felt bad for a nanosecond. Then when the lights came on I stood up and glared at him and not surprisingly, he looked wasted. On the way out, I asked this other woman what she thought and she said she was going to complain, so we went together. The manager was apologetic and gave us each a free pass. Big whoop. How about giving me my day back?

Later, I was looking at cameras in Sears and who should be walking right past but HIM, the whooping, moaning, epithet-blurting, movie-wrecking freak from the theater. He was talking to himself and saying "I saw the Brokeback Mountain" so I go "Yeah, I know and you totally ruined the whole movie for everyone. Thanks a lot" And he stops and looks at me incredulously like he has no clue. He made this noise like when Scooby Doo goes "Huhhh?", as if to ask me why I would say such a thing. So I said "You didn't shut up through the entire movie. It was completely rude." And in that moment, I realized that while he didn't appear to have Tourette Syndrome anymore, this person may not be playing with a full deck and I decided to back off. He could have cared less. He ambled away, still talking to himself. And me? Well, I felt a lot better having had the chance to vent at the actual source of my irritation, for what it was worth. All's well that ends well. As for cameras, apparently the only kind of digital camera that don't have that annoying delay are the big SLR kinds. The $500 to $1000 kind. Not what I wanted to hear...

Weekend FUN!

Hubz is home. I'm taking the day off. I'm leaving this place and not coming back for hours and hours and then a few more hours. If you need a recap, scroll down to the post called "Hubz is Gone"

So as to not have a stale post on here all day, I'm leaving ya'll a few FUN! links from my bookmarks. If you've seen them before, then feel free to post NEW! fun links to regale each other with in my absence.

Let the FUN! begin:

Design your own Warning Label. A great way to procrastinate or avoid your to-do list.

Use Gizoogle to turn your blogging, searches, text etc. into "jive" (which I think sounds really dorky). It's the shiznit, kids.

Introducing the -ly detector, a bookmarklet that will help you weed adverbs out of your writing. Apparently, (ha!) adverbs are bad. Who knew? Admittedly (ha!), this isn't all that much FUN! but I figure it's entirely (ha!) possible that you've been looking for a way to rid your life of adverbs. (it's also possible that you really (ha!) need to get out more ;-p)

Have a great Saturday.

Money for Blogging & Your Chicks for Free

Just when I thought I'd had enough with blogging; that it was taking up too much time and not giving me much return on my investment, I read that someone (who is not Dooce) is getting $25k per month for a three month sole sponsorship of their blog. That's right, peeps. Seventy. Five. Grand. Bearing in mind, of course, that the blog in question is of a more technical nature than this fine specimen right here, that's still an assload of dead presidents for a blog. And naturally, if Sony thinks that the blog in question is worth sponsoring, you can bet a bunch of wannabes will follow and probably up the ante.

As you may have guessed, this is just the kind of news that gives an indy mommy blogger hope and in turn, I'd like to invite all those big multi-national conglomerates that I love to hate to RENT THIS BLOG CHEAP! Yep...for a mere $100 per month, you can plaster your carefully designed and focus-grouped logo ALL OVER THIS BIZATCH!

Actually, you need not even be corporate. I'm just as happy to pimp my blog to a mom & pop operation. Yeah! Really!

So who's gonna be first?????

Raise you're hand if you're not a writer...

Is EVERYONE in the blogosphere a writer? Or an aspiring writer? It's not a smartass crack. I'm serious. Everywhere I go, someone has written a book, is coming out with a book or is working on a book. I've not come across this many writers since college. To be around people that can write well and know how to spell...it's good. I dig it. I know I've got a book somewhere in me, too, because whenever I strong arm someone into sitting down and listening to my life story, they're always fascinated. I'm kidding. I don't really strong arm anyone...much. But I've been told many times that I should write a book about my life. And someday, when I'm feeling ambitious, maybe I will.

In other news, baby Peebs (The Prince) has another tooth coming in today! This would explain why he was up 236 times last night and having that very special kind of poop that you only see when a tooth is imminent. In case you forgot already, the Hubz is out of town so I'm fielding all childcare issues all by myself. Thanks, hon!

My daughter was up a couple times, too. The first time she got up and was all upset about a bad dream she had in which Binky Barnes was threatening to sit on her American Girl doll and squish it. I was trying so hard not to laugh when she was sobbing into my shoulder and telling me about the dream because I like Binky Barnes*. Do I like the buck-toothed American Girl Doll? Well...let's just say the kid loves her and that's what counts.

*FYI...Binky is a character from the kid's show "Arthur" and American Girl dolls are these ridiculously expensive dolls that are all the rage for girls around 4 to maybe 10 yrs old. If you have a daughter and you don't know about them, I'm guessing you eventually will.

Anyway, this waking-mommy-up crap went on between both of them until 6am and ended with my daughter having a fever. Did I mention I was up doing my taxes until 2am? We're getting a fabulous (BIG!!!!) refund back but who cares? I can't buy sleep with it. Grrrr....

Hubz is gone...

My husband left tonight to go out of town for work and he's going to squeeze in a recording gig while he's there. He doesn't usually travel except maybe once or twice a year. He'll be back Friday night if all goes as planned but I've never been without him for more than 8-9 hours since the baby was born last summer. Even though I know I can handle it, I'm nervous and if you ever read my "100 Things About Me" you know why. You know that I already have totally irrational fears about him leaving the house. Multiply that by 10 and that's how I'm feeling right now. My brain is working over time thinking of stuff to worry about. Stop it!

This is going to be a lot harder for me than for him. He'll practically be on a paid vacation; no kids, nice dinners out, someone cleaning up after him every day. I'm reallllllly jealous but I think I'm hiding it well. Okay. Maybe not...lol

He was supposed to leave about 3 hours ago, around 7pm EST but he didn't want to leave me with the kids awake, the kitchen a mess and the trash not taken out so he helped me with all that & more before he left, even though it was going to make him get there really late. He's a keeper :-)

Now what? I thought I'd be like "Ahhhhhh...nice quiet house." I'm more like "Shit...it's too quiet in here." Both kids are asleep and I could do any number of things but I'm just sitting around being cold and wondering if I could turn this blah post into something fun and interesting but you know...I'm just not feelin' it.

<-----I have this DVD set that I want to watch. I got it for Christmas and I really love this show but maybe I'll wait until Hubz comes back. The thing about owning a movie or show on DVD is that there is no endpoint. There's no pressure to watch it because it doesn't have to be returned. And for me at least, this means I may never watch it. Not good. This thing was a pain for Hubz to get for me. Wherever he ordered it from screwed up and it arrived like 3 days after Christmas.

I also have this book. Just got it today from the library. I've been waiting forever to read it and yet, I don't feel much like sitting down and reading. Actually, I'm afraid I'll fall asleep and if I do, I won't be able to hear the baby on the other side of the house. Maybe I'll just do our taxes instead :-|

This is a Tuesday and normally I 'd be like "Nip/Tuck night! Yippeeee!!!!" but Nip/Tuck is on hiatus right now and I don't even think they're showing re-runs. So nyahhh...Tuesdays blow until further notice.

I have a question about digital cameras. Mine is hopelessly outdated and I'm in the market for a new one. One that has NO delay and takes fabulous pictures. One where what you see in the viewfinder is indicative of what you will see in your photo. My price range is about $300 unless it does something really spectacular, like change a diaper, in which case, I'd be willing to go much, much higher. Please share any advice you have with me. TIA.

I guess that's all for now. Sorry for the blogging suckage. Feel free to leave happy, peppy comments to cheer me up.

Is this normal???

I have to know. I read other peoples blogs AND I CRY. I just read the latest installment on dooce.com and it made me tear up (shut up...it was very touching). This happens A LOT. I am emotionally over-wired. I know this. But someone please just tell me that I'm not the only one. I prefer the "safety in numbers" approach when we're talking about something that might make me a freak.

NEW TENANT ALERT! If you'll look to the right sidebar, you'll see my new renter, A Mama's Rant. Please drop by and show her some love. Her blog is great and I know you'll enjoy it! Thanks a lot to all the other bidders. I wish I could have chosen all of you.

ADDENDUM: Blubbered my way through Grey's Anatomy and was supremely irritated to find a freaking cliffhanger at the end. Grrrrrr... Then around midnight, we were in the bedroom hanging out with the baby and I started bawling again because it makes me sad to think of my kids growing up; that when my son is 5, my daughter will be 10. *sigh*

I really must be close to getting my period. This is a bit much even for me.

The *N* Word (or Why Mommy Still Hasn't Told You the REAL Name for Your...)

5 yr Old Daughter: This dog has two puppies and two suckees (referring to a toy dog)

Me: Uhh...they're um actually called "nipples" (cringing inwardly at the use of the actual name for a body part, even for a dog, because I am a dork that cannot use those words with any degree of ease)

5 yr Old Daughter: Nipples? (pausing and looking sufficiently horrified, as one might expect from a child of mine)

5 yr Old Daughter: Well... (thinking for a moment) On this dog, they're called suckees.

Damn right they are!

Who Wants a Jimmy Ha Ha?

DSCF0015.JPG
Originally uploaded by izzywigs.

This is just one of the 8 or so pictures of the Prince that can be seen in my flickr box to the right. Yep. In case you haven't heard or seen the banner behind that plane up in the sky, I got flickr. Ya'll are in trouble now!

Is he not adorable? I told you...

This is the part where you say "Why yes, he is an absolutely stunning specimen of babyness"

Okay...enough baby talk. W

We rented a couple this weekend. One called "Last Days" was so EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING. I couldn't watch past the first 20 minutes. It's supposed to be inspired by Kurt Cobain's last days before he offed himself. It made me want to off Gus Van Sant for making this piece of shit. What happend to the Van Sant from "My Own Private Idaho"? Take my word for it and get a chick flick instead. Get anything besides "Last Days".

We also rented "Me and You and Everyone We Know" which is a quirky little indie film that won a shitload of awards at Sundance etc. It was worth the $4. And I learned a new word for a blow job — "Jimmy Ha Ha" which made me go hahahaha a lot. I give it a thumbs up just for that. But if you like fast-paced action-packed movies, you might want to skip it.

While I've got ya here, you gotta check out this blog called my house is cuter than yours. This girl is so cool. She's all retro and crafty and into all kinds of nifty vintage things. I love people like this. I go there just to admire from afar.

Okay. Enough rambling for one night. *yawn*

True Confessions Thursday

How many of you keep your blog a secret* from friends, family, spouses or everyone?

*anonymous posts are enabled ;-)

Addendum: Thank you all for chiming in. I just wanted to see where I was in comparison to a fairly random sampling. My husband knows about my blog but he is the only one. He talked me into starting one (and he's created a monster). The catch is that he's not allowed to read it. I told him that it made me feel weird even though I'm not saying anything that he couldn't read and he said it was okay with him. He opened it up once from work to show someone a picture and I saw it on my Sitemeter and sent him an email that said "Get OFF my blog!"

My two best friends don't even know about it. They live in different states but still... Is it wrong of me to keep something that has become a freakishly large part of my life a secret from them? I just feel like the more people from your real life that read your blog, the more you will inadvertently censor yourself. I would like to believe that I'm being fairly honest and true to myself here. I mean I don't divulge ALL the details of my life but the ones I do, my thoughts and feelings etc. are all real and true. I'm not sure I'd want to compromise that. And furthermore, even if I did want to tell them, how could I explain that I've been doing this since November and never said a word? It feels deceitful.

My family doesn't know either. I don't feel an obligation to share this with them but if I knew they were reading it, I'd feel very awkward. This is just one of the reasons why I am hesitant with photos and personal details. I felt like if a friend or family member googled me, they wouldn't find this because my full name isn't all over it but there's always the possibility of someone seeing a photo of me or my husband or kids and going to one of them "Hey! Isn't this your sister, cousin, daughter-in-law, best friend etc?" That would be very weird and uncomfortable, I think.

So what should I do? Tell my friends? Continue to live a secret blog life? Your advice is welcome.

We Dun Need No Stinkin' Toys

Baby post alert! May contain words like cute and adorable. If you hate this stuff...leave now. You were warned. If you want to be my friend, however, you really should comment and say something nice.

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My 7.5 month old son, whom I refer to as The Prince (so named by my 5 yr old daughter) has no interest in toys. None. I wish he'd informed me of his dislike of all things brightly colored and made of plastic. I wouldn't have bought him all that crap at Toys R Us the other day but they're closing and everything was 40% off. I couldn't help myself *sigh*

He much prefers the following items, in no particular order:

-straws
-popsicle sticks
-string
-keys
-spoons
-hairbrushes
-magazines, paper towels & cardboard
-remote controls
-junk mail
-and any other item that a normal person would deem inappropriate for a baby to play with

He just started liking Cheerios this week. Previously, he would react as though I'd put a turd on his tray. A spicy, prickly turd on fire, to be exact. Fortunately, he's had a change of heart and instead of throwing them on the floor to make them go away, he now ravenously scoops them up and gets one or two in his mouth. Yay! He's also sitting up with no flopping over or lolling from side to side like a drunkard and he's rolling around to get across the room. He's still saying Da! a lot but not as much as a couple weeks ago. His grabbing has escalated to an 11 on a scale of 1-10. We have to be really careful with him now. Yesterday, he pulled a very pointy mechanical pencil out of my husband's pocket and didn't want to give it up, preferring instead to wave it around like a teeny little sword.

I think tonight he tried to kiss me. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and afterward he opened his mouth and pulled my face to him, planting a big wet one my cheek and then on the end of my nose. He still only has one tooth but I know the other one has to be coming soon because he's swatting the crap out of his ear again.

He's sleeping somewhat better lately but still not in as long of a stretch as his sister did at the same age. I was so foolishly arrogant with her. I thought I was the sleep expert. "Look at my baby sleeping 12 hours at 3 months". What an assbite! I'm getting paid back now. But really, he's not been nearly as fussy as he was and he goes to sleep in his crib without a hassle. When he wakes up around 4am, as he always does, I can usually just nurse him for a couple minutes and he falls right back to sleep. It's actually a lot better. I hope it lasts. I'm probably jinxing myself just by typing those words. Shit!

Aother recent development is separation anxiety. If he can't see me, he cries. If he can't hear me, he cries. Unfortunately, nobody else will do. My husband thinks the baby hates him now because he spends every second that he's not with me swiveling his head around while he uses his baby GPS to lock on to my coordinates. It's nice to be adored but it makes my job twice as hard.

I took a bunch of pictures of him last night but I swear my camera has the worst freaking delay and I always miss the smiles and cute things. I am going to download them to the computer tomorrow and if there is a decent one in the bunch, I'll post it. He really is unbelievably cute. I'm not just being a dumb mom who thinks her totally ugly baby is adorable. He is. And if anyone dares to disagree, I'll cybersmack you ;-)

UPDATE: In case you didn't notice, I did post pictures of The Prince. They are in the flickr box in the right hand sidebar. Open it up and see for yourself how beautiful he is :-)